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It's been three whole months since arriving here in the Netherlands. Three months! It seems to have, both, flown by and feels like it's been approximately thirty years... I'm not sure what that says about how I've spent my time so far...
The question I get asked the most, besides do I miss my family (oh yes), and how am I getting on with the language (hmmm ik probeer), is 'Are you happy?' Is it me, or is this a difficult question to answer? Of course, not every person asks this with the expectation of an actual lengthy, in depth analysis of my inner most thoughts, some people simply make polite small talk. But it really does make me stop and think, wait a minute, am I happy? And then follows, what counts as happiness? How does one measure or judge something so complex and diverse?
I'm not even sure if that is an answerable question really, as no two days are the same. Having a surprise phone call from a loved one makes me so happy; but then what is the feeling when the call ends and you realise how long it's been since you last looked into their eyes? That doesn't make me an unhappy person precisely, but it's certainly a feeling close to loss. Basically, I'm still, very much, coming to terms with not being around my family (not sure if you notice!), and that is the part that sticks out to me, when people ask this.
Perhaps a better way to answer the question, is to look at and focus on the things that really do put a smile on my face. The things that brighten a day and leave me skipping, however mundane or simple some may be! Here are a handful of triggers that have put a spring in my step lately:
* Finding inspiration in the most unsuspecting places; without searching or striving, discovering something that fills you with excitement and purpose, then growing ideas, thoughts and plans.
* Waking to the sound of the neighbours chickens, even if it is before my alarm...
* Starting a new book! Makes the passing blow of finishing a good book, easier.
* Handwritten post. There is nothing like receiving a thoughtful parcel sealed with such love, and even more pleasing sending one. I am eagerly awaiting a reply from my baby cousins (10, 6 & 2!). Sending postcards and notes makes me happy (basically any excuse to buy/ use my stationary!).
* Road trips- car snacks, 'singing' to the radio, blurry window photography, Rich's road rage.
* Figuring out the tricky bits in my knitting pattern feels like an epic win!
* Coffee and cake with the in laws, and maybe a borreltje or two.
* A smile from a stranger, a friendly nod or a hello- this includes local wildlife, as I may have said good morning to a heron the other day...
* Bare feet on sun warmed grass- enough said.
* Skype dates with my family always, always makes my day.
* Laughing; any time, any place.
* Walking by the canal, putting the world to right with Rich, like a couple of oldies.
* Preparing and getting excited for a visit to England- words can't describe how much I'm looking forward to all the hugs and catch ups and food (hihihi).
* Cycling in the early morning sunshine; blows the cobwebs right out and clears my mind. Those few precious moments are worth their weight in gold.
It's best to focus on what we have in our lives, look at what we can be grateful for, rather than things we want. It's easy to miss the good stuff when searching for 'perfection' (whatever that is), we put unrealistic goals ahead of ourselves and wonder ignorantly how we fail. I think it's time to quit pushing for impossibly high expectations and start living life for the heart felt moments in between, those kind gestures and simple happiness. I'm sure if you remind yourself of how lucky you are with what you have, then you'll find a wee smile stretching across your beautiful face.
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Is this something you find yourself thinking about? Am I alone in thinking that it really is a tricky thing to pull apart?
I'm a new reader and I really love all your photos and your posts :) You've won me over.
ReplyDeletewww.faithfullymarissa.blogspot.co.uk
Hey petal, thank you!!
DeleteLovely post Gemma. It's certainly a question to get you thinking. I did a #100happy days photo project recently, some days I could have photographed a thousand things, other days it would be hard to find 1 or 2. Every day is a new start, could be good, could be a bad. But 1 bad day doesn't make you unhappy just like 1 good day doesn't necessarily make you happy. It really is a toughie! Ultimately though I think to love and be loved is all that really matters. xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI think you might be right Kim! xx
DeleteI couldn't agree more Gemma! Definitely important to focus on what you have rather than what you want, although it's also no bad thing to have dreams and desires. It's true, the answer to whether we're happy or not depends on the day that you ask that question although I think if we look at the big picture we're probably happy overall x
ReplyDeleteJosie’s Journal
Agreed! Dreams are important, and having things to work towards. And as long as it's tricky to give an exact answer to whether we're 'happy' or not, maybe that's a great sign, because at least we aren't UNhappy, as surely we would notice that?! x
DeleteOh I couldn't agree more with this post Gemma! I often have too high expectations of myself and then feel as if I've "failed" when I don't reach those goals. I completely agree with what you've said in your last paragraph - it's better to instead focus on what we have and find happiness in the everyday :)
ReplyDeleteGemma x
Exactly! We need to be realistic with our expectations, and kinder to ourselves! So what if we didn't reach something by a desired time, as long as we worked towards it and learned along the way, that's the main thing isn't it? Making the most of each situation : )
DeleteIt's all about the little things. I agree, I get the same questions all the time. Do you miss family: nope. Why Belgium: It was an accident. Can you understand us: If I want to spend a significant amount of energy, maybe. Are you happy here:... For the most part :)
ReplyDeleteThe little things, no matter how insignificant they are to other people. You gots to find what floats your boat : )
DeleteWhat a great post! "Happiness is a journey, not a destination" - is something I read somewhere (so cheesy) but I think it's true. I always remind myself daily what I'm grateful for, as it helps give me perspective :) Your happy list is lovely, it's the small things huh x
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly it, perspective! And thank you Steph, for my new motto! Happiness is most definitely the journey!! : )
DeleteLovely post. Coffee and cake is always amazing! I also completely agree about not setting unrealistic targets - sometimes we are just at our most happy when we don't really plan things and just 'go where the wind takes you'. :)
ReplyDeletetheemeralddove21.blogspot.co.uk
Too right petal! 'One step at a time' seems to work for me : )
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